bpd mess: thanks. Yeah, I feel so weird about it but it does feel safe and right when I hold her hand. Hugs are more normal; holding hands to me is something kids do, or partners do. I used to like holding hands with my boyfriends when I was dating. I held my kids' hands all the time, and now my grandchildren's. But my female Ts hand?

cmac: I love it that your T made the children's tapes for you. It's such a loving thing to do. My parents hugged me up to a certain age because I remember it with my Mom. But after that, not much. We didn't kiss hello or goodbye. I didn't even know how to kiss until college! Other relatives came from out-of-town and there was much hugging and kissing. I was amazed! I also didn't want any part of my friends hugging me when we were married with kids. It embarrassed me.

sugahorse: I know what you mean about your T being professional. When I mentioned about wishing I could hold my former Ts hand, she treated that as part of my problem, and steered clear of it. I will never forget when I first told my current T that the child part wanted to hold her hand. She came right over, sat next to me, and held out her hand. I will NEVER, EVER forget that as long as I live.

tree: I am so glad there is touch in your family now! Yes, I nursed my kids, and one of them, for a very long time. I kissed and hugged them a lot! I don't remember those kinds of hugs while growing up. My Mom couldn't nurse me, either. YOU were never unlovable, tree!!!!

Eileen: since you have a huggy relationship with your adult kids, maybe you don't need it with your t. I don't know if I was brave so much as desperate!

WePow: thanks for sharing that heartwarming story about your brother and you. Yes, it does feel like that. T doesn't make a big deal about it; she just gives me her hand. It makes me feel like she loves me. I've gotten criticized a lot in my life, or maybe I'm too sensitive. T loving me even though I'm not perfect gives me something I think I missed.