Hello, wounded1. Since making decisions when upset is not good, perhaps you might start by calming down. When calmer, you might think about how the marriage could be made better for both of you and the children. Does he understand how hurt you are about the birthdays? Does he realize you have business experience that he could use? Would he be willing to go to counseling? Perhaps seeking counseling for yourself would help? It appears you need need to make it very clear you are not happy with him.

If he does not seem committed to making changes, you might want to ask yourself the Ann Landers question: "Am I better off with him or without him?"

I wish you well.