My son is having difficulties with the holidays. Given that he is adopted and his bio family only shows up at Christmas I know it is hard for him. He has autism and I think he is just now reaching a developmental level where having lost his bio family is starting to hit. We have been dealing with non-stop anoying behviors for a while now. So much so that we were un-invited to Thanksgiving dinner. But... the behaviors were just things to urk me (and his aunt) and he was always sure to be caught. OK, again, I went into this as knowingly as one could so I just ignored most of the behaviors. The behaviors that could not be ignored ment time out or extra chores.
Last night he pulled a stunt that landed us in the ER for 3 hours (he is perfectly fine). obviously we are at a level now that the behaviors have to be addressed and addressed in a firm way. I have always been firm and consistant as it is what he responded to best.
Having to come down so hard on him today is killing me. Today it is so hard to be the mom he needs. I feel like S***. This is the first time in over a year that he seems to be showing remorse for his behavior. Usually if he is in time out and cries it is so fake that it is easy to ignore. Todays tears are real and it is so hard to stay firm. I have tried to comfort him while not backing down on his consiquence of staying in his room for the day (except for meals and the like and he doesn't understand that today is Thanksgiving so we will have Thanksgiving tomorrow). But he is scared, upset and angry and just pushes me away. I know it isn't really me that is hurting him right now, it is his past. I want to take the pain away but I can't. I wish we could talk (he is non-verbal) I wish he could express himself to someone. I try to talk to him but they are my words not his and for healing to happen they have to be his.
Today, it sucks to be a parent.