Thread: Eye Contact.
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Old Nov 25, 2010, 06:30 PM
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madisgram madisgram is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2008
Location: Sunny East Coast Florida!
Posts: 6,873
well first let me comment on your getting sober!!! good for you. i've found my sober life to give me so much more meaning than when i was drunk.
as for your dilemma, do u feel shy around others? i got that impression when i read your post. or perhaps self conscious? i'm sure you feel acceptance in AA. try to allow them to accept all of you "including the warts". that's a U.S. saying meaning love all of you including any short comings. i'm sure you treat others that way so allow them to do it back to you. try to slowly get to know ppl in the rooms and practice some eye contact. you don't have to get this overnight just practice. if you are shy or self conscious i'd probably try to say that at the first part of the conversation. ppl are usually kind when one admits something like this. it may also put you at ease since you've verbally said it.
u're right when you say it's lonely doing what you do. so i encourage you to try to step outside of your comfort zone. if you fear rejection the worse thing that can happen is they don't want to talk to you. right now your behavior is like telling them the same...like you're not interested in making friends.
keep us posted if you decide to "practice" doing the eye contact. a motivating factor is you won't feel so lonely cause you will make friends.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
Thanks for this!
UKfox