I don't know what happened, but It must be awefull. I've been suicidal before and I've lived through it. there are mental health advocacy group where someone told me thier daughter had my mental illness and is dead. she told me why not to die. It really helped me. My illness is cause by child abuse. My parents don't believe I was abused. I needed family and therapy. You could go to therapy and get involved with saving lives.