Thanks mixedup_e. I ended up going with one of my cousins to Thanksgiving, and there I found out his in-laws family were slightly more screwed up than my side of the family . My cousins are some people I'm able to connect with, and that always helps (even though they are all older than me).

I've never done a phone appointment, and I'm not sure how that would make me feel? I have a hard time communicating over the phone. I'm shy in some regards. I also have issues with trust and I don't like to have phone conversations because of that (long story), although I'd be willing to break through that glass with my T.

I'm failing my classes, which I'll be shelling out a huge amount of money for if I fail, not to mention the future consequences of such a failure.
I'm hanging on by a string in some regards at work.
I'm looking for a new place to live.
I'm struggling with how to juggle and cope, but overall considering the circumstances I'm not doing too shabbily.

My psychdoc gave me a new diagnosis a few months ago-- Seasonal Affective Disorder. Might be why I have problems in the winter Pdoc wants me to take antidepressants, but I don't like how they make me feel and I don't like how you have to taper off of them or it becomes unsafe. I also have struggled with suicidal feelings in the past when I was on them which doesn't make any sense--and I don't want to go there because I don't feel suicidal at all and I'm scared to risk certain things.

Posting here is helpful. I'm glad I found this place.