I also did had better relationship with my dad when I was younger, I was always more closer to him than my other sisters, we used to spend a lot of time together.
But now I left to study to other country and it kills me that we don't talk much now anymore. And it also kills me that I've never done anything to make him proud, I've never done any good in school, I'm not doing too well in uni either... He has done so much for me (and of course for his other daughters and his wife as well) but I've never done anything for him... At least what I could do is make him proud, but ...

I know what you mean about being scared of getting embarrased.
I mostly have trouble with telling people that I love them... I've never told any of my parents that I love them, and I do love them very much, but ... I can't tell those words and I've no idea why... I just feel so vulnerable when I think about telling them that...

And I know that it's not really in the topic, but that's why I also have trouble getting closer to other people, I think this is one of the reasons I feel like I'm pushing everybody away from me, especially guy's... I'm just afraid that one day they might hurt me, leave me... I don't want to experiece that...