Wounded, I think marriage counseling might be able to help the two of you. Have you and your H ever considered that? When Rhiannonsmom wrote, "too late for the marriage," I really connected with that--I've ended a marriage within the last few years myself. There is a certain point beyond which a marriage cannot be helped. If too many years of hurt pass, it becomes too much and the hurt one stops caring for the sake of self preservation. So I urge you not to wait too long before really making it clear to your H how unhappy you are. Invite him to counseling. Maybe he will go. Try to find a really skilled couples counselor. I would also ask you to consider finding a male counselor. Your H sounds like someone who has trouble taking advice from a woman (he has ignored your great business advice for many years), so I think he will be more likely to listen to a man. And there are a lot of great male couples therapists out there. Even if marriage counseling ends up not improving the marriage, it can help you learn to communicate with each other (say the "hard things" in the presence of the counselor) and get clarity on what each of you wants from the marriage and what each of you is and is not getting. That can help you make your decision as to stay or not.

I would also suggest going to see some sort of financial advisor/counselor together. Your H needs a wake up call, and again, it sounds like he cannot take advice from you due to ego problems. Maybe he is not suited to being the boss of his own business. Maybe he would do better working at a company with a strong supervisor who can harness his talents yet keep him on track.

Good luck.