This battle isn't lost until it is lost, no matter how it feels at the time. I hope you can maintain enough control to last until you see tdoc or pdoc again, but if you cannot the ER is always an option, even if it is one that we don't like. Please know that you have my support and the support of everyone here at psychcentral. We will help you by listening and encouraging you to keep going, because I know that, as difficult as it is, you can keep going and you have more control than you realize. Please take care of yourself even, or perhaps especially, when it is most difficult. (((sugahorse)))