Heather, I am sorry you have to deal with the memory of loosing mom in addition to all else. What a hard thing to deal with, especially now.

Someone said it is all worth it - for the kids. (bitterness alarm here!) BS! Of course they are delighted and thrilled! You have just injected them with one of the most potent and toxic drugs - MATERIALISM. They would probably have similar joy from a tablet of ecstasy or a puff of crack cocaine. What have you taught them, these innocent babes? That THINGS and SPENDING and AQUISITION bring a rush of raw pleasure. Just like any other source of artificial joy, it is addictive, it does not last, it diminishes with repitition, and ultimately fails to satisfy. Then what? You recreate it in your children and try to live it vicariously. At least with chemical drugs most parents don't turn their kids on. But we sure don't hesitate to push them into our world of endless consumer lust.

back to the shadows...

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>