I felt this way about a few of my therapists. The first time I talked with my therapist about it. She said that she could never be my mom but she could be better.

Sometimes moms are so protective of their children they do everything for them. Hold them take care of them (feed, pick out clothes, shelter) and they do so much for them that they fix the problems for the person so the person doesn't have a chance to explore and experiment. And alot of times because the protective mom is taking care of everything the "child" doesnt learn how to express themselves for theres nothing to express. Alot of survivors are looking for that type of protective mom. but that type of mom in real life is considered abusive because children who have those types of moms becone dependant and socially delayed or worse agoriphobic and so on.

By being my therapist not the mom I am looking for I will be comforted but yet learn how to comfort myself, I will have room to explore, experiment and express myself and not becoming dependant on her. Her job is to help me to overcome my abusive past not add to it by promoting abusive ideations.

Just for the hell of it I asked her so how do I find that mom therapist if I wanted to. and she said Any therapy professional that allows such as a child parent relationship is ethically and legally wrong and always looses thier certification and or lisencing at some point because sooner or later the client ends up being transfered to another therapist and that therapist and/or client once the abusive relationship is disclosed reports that unethical therapist. So finding a therapist willing to promote a parent child relationship is so slim you might as well say you are not going to find it. Then she gave me numbers for our states board for certification and lisencing and the number for our state branch of the American Psychiatric Association and we called them together so that my head would get back on track of not reading more into our therapy time then there really was. They both told me no therapist in the United States is allowed to promote parent/child relationships between themselves and their client in any way shape of form. So I got back on track immediately and went back to learning how to take care of myself. My therapist could hold me when I was upset or needed her to but legally and ethically she could not be my mom, and I could not call her mom or consider her mom in my thoughts for that would get her into legal trouble down the road if I accidentally starting to believe there was a mother daughter relationship. And yes if she had allowed my thoughts on this to continue it would have hurt my progress because I wouldn't h ave learned to take care of my problems and myself. I would have gotten upset when she wasn't living up to my expectations and remained stuck in the child role of looking for a mom. By talking with her about it and nipping the situation I was able to get back on track and I became stronger for it. So strong that I was able to start standing up to my abuser who was 480 pounds and 6 and a half feet tall because I knew I was worth more than his play toy and punching bag. If I hadn't talked with her and her nipping the situation like she did I would be dead now because I would have expected her to rescue me instead of my fighting for myself.

Now when those thoughts come up I write in my journal that there is no way the therapist can be my mom so "wake up and get to work". When my therapists read my journals they laugh at that because alot of survivors do fall into that trap and they have at times ended up shutting down therapy with that person either temporarily or permanently by referring them to a new therapist. My writing that shows them that I value our time together so much that I don't allow myself to cross the line.

Sugestion talk with your therapist and take care of these thoughts before they do harm to you and your therapy program.