Lost my job today. I had been a few minutes late punching in too many times and called in sick a couple times. My boss loved my work, but it was a decision from over his head. The place is VERY strict about attendence. I started getting so much more stressed the past couple months or so. I've had everything--the new job, probs with my ex, the kids, money, very expensive car repairs (almost $1,000 this month!), PTSD symptoms, eating issues, increase in cutting.... So much going on and so many times I didn't even want to go to work that day but did. Usually I went in those days after cutting--which made me a few minutes late because I "had to" do it. I wasn't on any psych med during this time. I just started the Adderall XR yesterday and I am sure that more meds will be added soon. The Adderall seems to be bothering my heart more, so chances are that my short-acting propranolol that I now take as needed, and will probably be switched to the long-acting version. I have no money right now as it is after spending so much money on the car this month. I think that the heater blower is ready to die out because of a noise that it started making last night, and trouble keeping it working right. With cold weather here, I am going to need heat in the car. Why do I have the feeling right now that my life is F'd? I haven't had thoughts of cutting the past two days, which I don't know if the Adderall has anything to do with it, but tonight after this I feel like OD'ing. I won't, but it would feel nicer than I do now.