lfmn, i think what's frustrating and hurting you is your father doesn't seem to VALIDATE your feelings. and we all have them/feelings. i had somewhat the same problem with my father when i was your age. right down to failing him in his expectations of me. i adored him so it made me feel "less than" and i felt he pulled his love away. he was not a bad man but his love was conditional. all of this was explained to me in therapy, the dynamics of not being validated especially by those we felt close to in the past. once i became a parent i fixed this in a way by always "listening" to my son. we all need to be respected this way i believe.
i'm sorry you have to feel you're not being heard or your feelings be disregarded. i hope you know you are being heard here at pc. i don't know if talking about this with him would help since you've tried already. have you considered writing him a letter and expressing how it/he makes you feel? if you do this try to use the "I" word rather than pointing the "you" word at him. like I feel....when this happens. it hurts me...etc.
this would give him something to mull over and consider without him disregarding your feelings in person. perhaps it would have an impact on him.