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I had a very lengthy response but honestly it wasn't very supportive. I'm the one here dealing with my widowed mother and my brother gets to blow in for the fun things like weddings and holidays. What it boils down to is he's a guest now, a visitor. It is our childhood home, but his decision to leave changed his status. There are consequences for our choices.
I will give credit where credit is due, he does help financially but I'm the one that deals with the day to day crisis. And little things like comments that are not meant to be critical grate on my nerves even though logically I KNOW he appreciates all that I do for our mother. Frankly I would love be the one that gets to write a check and forget about it. Another aspect is that he doesn't know anything about what is really going on unless I tell him. My mother doesn't want to worry when there's nothing he can do, he lives so far away.
September is a difficult month to deal with. It is the month of my father and mother's birthdays and also the anniversary of his death. When I call and vent to my brother about the things going on he'll say "move to the west coast, then you won't have to deal with it." I know he's joking, moving away would solve MY problem, but not my mother's. Who will help her then? It's so flipping dismissive and ungrateful.
That parking situation seems so small and petty. But I can empathize with her. Whether it was your intention or not, I'm sure she felt that she's there taking care of business and you are not respecting her space. YOU didn't want to walk very far in the rain, but who cares if she had to.
Think about this for a minute. If your mother falls and breaks her hip tomorrow, are you willing to give up your job, house... your entire life really to care for her for the next year? Would you even have to ask your sister to or would she step in?
The way you've described yourself I'm quite surprised that you don't see that instead of your contempt your sister deserves your gratitude. My brother is an immature @ss, but he has the decency to thank me. He gets to live his life as he wishes knowing that our mother is taken care of. Even though he was her favorite, I accept this role because I am the oldest that that is what families do.
Just out of curiosity, have you asked her point blank in an adult conversation why she is so angry and resentful of you?
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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