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What a frustrating situation. I'm not sure how I would deal with it. Blood is thicker than water. Husbands, wives, Bfs and Gfs come and go, but your family is your family forever.
I would think that your bf's dedication to his niece would be a positive testiment to his character. I am not wondering at all why you would remain with him, quite the opposite. The fact that he's willing to take care of a family member like that tells me he's a kind, caring, mature, responsible human being.
Logically, how can you expect a teenager to behave properly when no one has ever taught her how to behave? As Bloom said, the only actions you control are your own. Set up boundaries for what YOU will accept as behavior and deal with her directly. How they interact between them is not only none of your business, it isn't even remotely within your control. Either he will get sick of it and deal with the problem directly or he won't, you don't enter into that equation at all.
Manipulative emotional blackmail tactics such and refusing to speak to him because he does something you don't like do not work either. And frankly are just as immature as her behavior and she has an excuse, she's a teenager. They're supposed to be difficult.
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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