Thanks Kitty, Skully, and blueoctober!
I'm on mood stabilizers/anti-psychotics, but I can't get regular appointments with my psychologist. It's nerve-wracking. I only see him every other week, anyway (distance is extreme--5-hour drive), and when one of the appointments is cancelled, he doesn't re-schedule me for the next week, so I end up four weeks between appointments.....It's frustrating to both of us that I can't maintain stability. He says I am strong enough, after 4 years, to do it. I can, about a third of the time. The other two-thirds, I'm a wreck, living two lives at once--trying to be in the room with others, but really in my head screaming.
So...I need alternatives to therapy-as-stability support.......If the stability depends on me, that's an iffy way to go. In the end, of course, I have to reach that....but, let's face it: I'm bipolar and borderline, so....like that's gonna happen.........