I think until one knows themselves on a deeply intimate level, then you are prone to be blown like the wind by other peoples definitions of who they feel you are. For me this is taking yrs in 2xwkly psychoanalysis, discovering who I am, all parts of me, and with that I don't seem so disturbed by others opinions, and personal boundaries become natural to have. I think what all of these people have that is useful is the indicator that you do not know yourself yet, not that their correct, but theres something amiss for them to be having that much power over you. Go on your own journey, its a wonderful journey and in time these people that seem all powerful and knowing now, will one day seem very pityful and unknowing.