Quote:
Originally Posted by broken_hearted
I can relate to the feelings of stupidity but you are not stupid. Our hearts and even our minds can cause us to make bad decisions because we are wrapped up in our emotions/feelings. I hope you never contact this man again and if he contacts you I hope you will be strong enough to say "no" and tell him to not bother you again.
Seven years ago I met a man. We talked and I felt sad for him and the way his childhood was and the losses he had gone through and I thought I could help him. That was mistake number 1 because we can't help anyone if they don't want the help. Mistake number 2 was staying with him when he started abusing me physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually. I still thought I could help him. I thought God would change him. My friends and family told me to get away from him so I would break up with him only to get back together after many times of him saying and pretending he changed. Two years ago we married. Again everyone told me not to do it. At the alter my to be husband looked like he wished he wasn't there. Suddenly I heard a voice, a loud voice in my ear saying "DON'T DO IT". I heard it 3 times. With all my heart and soul I truly without a doubt believe it was God speaking to me. Yet I married him anyway in fear of making my family mad and hurting them ( they seem me go through h*** because of this man for years breaking up and getting back together etc...). I know now it was a huge mistake because the marriage has been so bad and abusive. This is where the feeling of stupidity comes in. I tell myself all the time how stupid I was to marry him especially when God himself told me not to. I didn't want to hurt anyone or make them mad and I thought he would change. He didn't change, it only got worse. I learned the hard way. Please get away from this man you speak of before it's too late like it is for me. Please listen to people. They speak the truth and are wise when they tell you to get away from him. Love is not worth it if abuse comes with it. I have learned the hard way but I sure have learned. I just don't know what to do now in my situation.
Be safe and remember you are not stupid but I do understand the feelings you are having.
Take care.....broken_hearted
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Hello, Thank you so much for your story and I am sorry you are going thru this. I feel your pain. Many people do not understand these cycles and are judgemental. Today I awoke and feel a lot better, but did not sleep well. My outlook is much better and I even myhealth is better. I am trying to take care of myself and focus on other things for myself. My biggest problem is anger. I am soooo angry at this ahole and his selfishness. I have actually been verbally abusive to him and feel bad. I am glad that I know what it is. I have never treated other men like this. It is interesting how angry you can get. I know what you mean about God giving you signs. When I was in the Coffee shop helping this guy at a volunteer job on my laptop and he walked by with this girl I heard God saying to me, let it go, but I had this urge to go talk to him again! I believe it was a sign still and luckily I did not give him the keys to my apt this time. Prior to that he had talked me into this two times. I know part of this treatment this time is due to the fact that I refused to give him a set of keys without him getting treatment and without him treating me well. He was using passive aggressive and silent treatment emoitonal abuse tactics. He is very sneaky. So for that I am proud. I hope you know I undersand and if you want to write feel free to do so. Thanks.