i have found that Mindfulness, which is essentially focussing on my own thoughts feelings and urges, is one of the best ways to stop focussing on others'~! if you want to try a really fast way of changing, practice when you are stress free, being the person you want to be, and then focus on remembering that as soon as you feel distressed. let those other people do what they want, you will be busy doing what you need to do, and success will come like a pet. best wishes... Gus