I have been having a tough time recently. I have become very depressed and was carefully prescribed an SSRi. After three days of taking it my depression became much worse and I became really angry and inwardly volatile. I had thoughts of harming myself and had vengeful thoughts about others...very unpleasant and completely out of character.

I have managed to remain at work (just) but have found it hard to remain appropriate. I tend to say things I don't mean when unwell.

I had to write an email to a manager of mine which I cc'd to my other manager. This was concerning something I was working on. I was careful how I worded it but up front and honest. I got a very curt email back that had bits written in capital, clearly shouting at me. I emailed back quickly and apologised for the upset, though I could not see what the problem was. Because I was feeling unwell I took it as read that I was the one at fault.

The manager I cc'd it to could see absolutely nothing wrong with the email. It became clear that the other manager was feeling bad about mistakes made and lashed out at me. Anyway I had a meeting with her and apologised once again for upsetting her, though there was clearly nothing to apologise for. Her response was "I wonder why you always say things without thinking?" I pointed out that I had never before done any such thing.

I really wish I had never disclosed about my illness to her. I was forced into it by my second manager. I get the distinct feeling she will use it against me at any opportunity. A) because she allowed me to apologise without taking any of the responsibility herself and B) Because she made a quip about me always talking out of turn which is absolutely not the case. In fact I amm the only one never to have had a complaint. It sucks. I will be very careful around her in future.

I simply cannot respect anyone who dose not take any responsibility for their own mistakes.