Suga, I haven't read this post in a few days. I didn't realize you were suffering so much. Please keep yourself safe at all costs. I have gone to the ER numerous times when I thought that I wasn't going to make it, and everytime I was admitted to the hospital for a few days and collected more tools for coping.

Even when I have all these tools available to me there are times when it juset goes all haywire anyway. That's when I reach out. Sometimes it means an extra phone session with T and sometimes it means a trip to the ER.

I hope this passes for you soon and you find some peace.