sigh. I don't know why you're here...I don't even "know" why I'm still here... it's perhaps the cruel joke of the universe to make us live our whole lives searching the reason why, only to find out right before we die!? As for the tangible reason why I'm still around, it's my T who keeps me going... he has enough hope for me... makes me think that there might be a good reason to do that (stick around...) You need someone like that,too... someone who will have "hope in hell" for you (as another member here has phrased it) TC... depression gets so dark.. I know... I'm hanging onto the edge, feet dangling... and fading fast myself...