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Elysium · Nov 27, 2010, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sannah

Even if you weren't assertive which most people are not, because this is one of the issues that needs to be worked on in therapy, why would a therapist do what she did?

I'm not sure why she would handle the session the way she did? I tried thinking like a T and thought that maybe she realized it was a very difficult time for me and she wanted to keep things simple for that week as to not throw me for a loop over the Holiday weekend, but it still doesn't make much sense.

After thinking about it a little more, I am remembering some other things that kind of made me want to run. They're really little things, but they all kind of add up I guess.

When she gave me the 3 page handout to read, that she had written on communication, she made this comment that she even had it "on the good paper"? Of course it was all done up looking very professional.

What also bothers me is that, as opposed to discussing contracting for safety or creating a safety plan, should I begin to feel like hurting myself, she merely stated that I had to promise her I would never do anything because she is very sensitive and she wouldn't want to lose sleep. I'm sure this all sounds horrible, and I don't think she meant tit to be perceived in that way, but I did perceive it that way and it's kind of like, how do you un-ring a bell? I have a very difficult time expressing my feelings in T in general. It took me four years before I could even allow myself to cry in a T's office and I am very afraid of exposing others to my pain, so hearing here say how sensitive she is just freaked me out and now I don't really want to share the hurt with her because I don't want to hurt her.

Aargh!!! I'm sure she means well and I'm sure she's a good T, I just think she's a good T for someone else.

My big issue now is I'm terrified to face her and tell her this. The thought of it makes me want to hide. But I can't just not show up and I am just as afraid to tell her over the phone. It really makes me sick to my stomach.