Hello, you sound like a very patient and loving husband Bengquan. Though I wish had an easy solution to offer you, from my personal experience I would say the two major things that will ease this tension will be time, and as suggested above, seeing a therapist together. My husband certainly had a difficult time adjusting to my obsessive compulsive mind-set after marriage (Before the wedding we used to live in seperate flats, which gave him just enough space to escape my neurosis)

Eventually after our arguments were getting out of hand, we booked in to see a different therapist from my regular (I didn't want my husband getting involved in that dynamic), and after maybe two months of fortnightly sessions, we did start making progress. And actually I am not sure anything major changed in terms of our attitudes, but over time we developed a mutual understanding, and it has since lead us to be able to live as a much happier couple.

I really think you will be able to reach a similar outcome over time and with patience.