Hi Sleeps,

You're no dunce or idiot. You're just trying hard to show him how independent you can be and how well you're coping with all this. Maybe like trying to be the 'good' patient? I find it's hard for me not to want to please my T. He keeps pointing that out to me, that it's not about doing or saying stuff because I think it's what he wants, it's supposed to be about what I want and need.

Do what you need to do. Make the appt. If you need to, go rant and rave at him, or just sit quietly and let him know you're hurting, or tell him to come here and look at what you're saying... But remember, it's not fair... what the system is doing is not fair to you. That doesn't make you bad or foolish or silly cause you're having difficulty coping ~~ it means the system is bad and it's not helping you. The system is idiotic and ridiculous.

I think you've been tough and courageous thru all this. You've dealt as best you could. You're still posting to us. You're trying as hard as you know how. You get an A.

Thinking of you, Quay