Hi, manwithhat. Welcome to PC. Glad you're here.

Along with this forum, you might try the OCD forum or the DID forum if you are having trouble with scary thoughts and feeling detached from people. I'm no expert at all, but I have seen posts about those things in those parts of the site.

I know that a lot of people get obsessive thoughts about doing bad things or being bad. If you are having thoughts like that, it doesn't mean that you're bad. Maybe your brain is just playing things for you to watch and it has no meaning at all. Or maybe the thoughts are triggered by something that happens or a feeling that you have? Is there a pattern to when the thoughts happen, who they are about, or what happens in them?

It must really be awful to have those thoughts when the other half of you is fighting it. It's a good sign if you are fighting it, though! You're not evil or destined to be apart from people, but when you're having so much trouble right now I can see why you feel that way.

Getting help is a great idea. Talking to your dad was a good move, too. I'm glad he was able to talk to you about it. Did you ask him about seeing someone just to get someone else's opinion?

Post back and let us know what happens! Take care.