Wow, I'm so with you on the list writing and re-writing, to the exclusion of doing anything on the list/plan/budget/schedule. And the starting new journals all the time. And the starting over if anything is wrong. I can laugh at myself, but it is a huge time suck.

I know I do it to control my big feeling of powerlessness. I have anxiety problems and my way of coping is to try to control every part of my life. When I can't, I make a plan to control it in the future (which is usually too huge to accomplish).

I have started using a stopwatch, and I give myself ten or 15 minutes at a time to make lists. I don't always stop, but I try to reset it at the end of the time so at least I have some idea of how long I've been going. It keeps me from getting lost for hours. Maybe that would help you, too? I could never give it up completely--good for you for trying!!

Can you see a doctor again about this? Maybe before when you saw someone they overlooked these behaviors because the depression was so bad. If you have that under better control, it might be a good time to work on some of this.

I hope you come back and let us know how you're doing. Take care!