Whenever I've read about DID, I've read that most, or all, DID'ers are suggestible. I always took offense to that statement. It made me feel defensive.

However, t very softly and carefully pointed out to me how I can be suggestible. I so get it now. At first, I felt extremely defensive, but the point he used was not disputable.

I stand very firm on what I feel I know...truly know within me (which at times isn't alot...lol). People IRL can get so frustrated with my stubborness or how unmoveable I am on many things.

However, I realised, with t's gentle guide, that I am suggestible (even highly as the books say ). The point he used to help me to see this was my little man.

Now, that I've put separation between the mother and I and his parents are seeing him more and this baby is very happy, I told t that I realised she was keeping me worried and upset with her "worst case scenerio and drama thinking". I told t that I was much calmer about the entire situation. I would think "what if she's right?" and act on it. We were, of course, talking about a precious child.

T pointed out (for the first time) that people like me usually are highly suggestible. Her statements were aiding in my going against what I felt to be ok, to actions in an attempt to prevent some unknown. Even though I felt as though everything would be fine, and had fact to back it up, her suggesting the "what if's" were keeping me in turmoil and acting against what I truly felt. It clicked!

However, I feel it's that same suggestibility, and what it touches deep inside of me, that allows me to "feel" for others so deeply and helps me to reach out in relation. Even though it can keep me undecided, it's not an insult at all. It can actually be a good thing. I've always known that there's not much that I can't relate to from somewhere inside of me.

I need to work on which type of suggestibility that I would like to curb. I would like to curb that which makes me doubt myself or keep me in turmoil of some kind. But I certainly wouldn't want to curb at all the type of suggestibility that allows me to feel so deeply for others through a very special relation.

Not only is it not an insult, it can be a gift! It's a gift for those in my life, and for me.

Too cool.

KD