Anyone grow up with an "attachment disorder"?

My son technically cannot be diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder because he has autism. Lately though he has been acting clasic RAD. He is adopted and had disruptions in his care givers at all the worst developmental stages. He also spent from age 5-7 in a residential program with high staff turn over.
I've worked in the field, I've read the books... I know all the things the professionals tell you to do. And... I am.

I want to know "his side" though. He is non-verbal and in the midst of it so he can't tell me. I didn't post this in parenting because I am not looking for parenting advice (although it is welcome). What I am looking for is someone who has lived or is living with it and would be willing to share their experience with me... What they wish could have been done differently, what could of been handled better. What they wished the person caring for them knew.

I know that I can't be what he wants me to be but I really want to be what he needs me to be.

Thanks