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Nov 27, 2010, 08:14 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 14
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Hi.... My husband lives like he is single. That is a lot of the problem. He feels no need to include me in any decisions. He does what he wants when he wants and how he wants. He has told me that money is the most important thing in life. My friend of 20 yrs was in great need financially at one time. She had nothing. My husband refused to help her. He said he worked for the money and he is going to keep it. He gets mad because I want to help people (if we are able to). He gets mad if I do anything for my own children (from a different marriage).
My husband was raised by his Grandparents so he has the same beliefs. The woman does all the housework, works in the yard, does all the shopping, does all the laundy, etc.... and she is to let him rest in his chair watching TV (what "he" wants to watch) every single night. The house is in need of many repairs but he won't do it because he wants to watch TV. He expects me to wait on him hand and foot. His Grandparents raised him to believe money is God. It's rathe sad because they did him such a deservice not teaching him about love and relationships. All they drilled in him is money, money, money. I think that is sad. He's been married 3 times (I'm the 3rd) and he has been in many relationships in between and has cheated on everyone of them, even on me. The compassionate part of me is sad for him. The wife part of me wants to be loved, have a best friend, be put first, cared about, not lied to , not hurt etc..... He is more worried about the money than he is about us getting a divorce. I think honestly he feels if we did divorce he'd have more money because he started complaining about how much I am costing him in doctor bills and meds. I felt so guilty that I tried going off of them but I got real sick.
He played so many facades before we were married that I thought he was one way and after we married the real man came out and I don't like him. I love him but I don't like him. Our values are completely different. He said his friends used to call him "Tin Man" because he has no heart. That says a lot don't you think?
I am rambling.  I am sorry. Not sure if I answered your questions. So much inside I don't know what to do with it.
May I ask about you? How are you? 
brokenhearted
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