Hello, Thank you so much for your story and I am sorry you are going thru this. I feel your pain. Many people do not understand these cycles and are judgemental. Today I awoke and feel a lot better, but did not sleep well. My outlook is much better and I even myhealth is better. I am trying to take care of myself and focus on other things for myself. My biggest problem is anger. I am soooo angry at this ahole and his selfishness. I have actually been verbally abusive to him and feel bad. I am glad that I know what it is. I have never treated other men like this. It is interesting how angry you can get. I know what you mean about God giving you signs. When I was in the Coffee shop helping this guy at a volunteer job on my laptop and he walked by with this girl I heard God saying to me, let it go, but I had this urge to go talk to him again! I believe it was a sign still and luckily I did not give him the keys to my apt this time. Prior to that he had talked me into this two times. I know part of this treatment this time is due to the fact that I refused to give him a set of keys without him getting treatment and without him treating me well. He was using passive aggressive and silent treatment emoitonal abuse tactics. He is very sneaky. So for that I am proud. I hope you know I undersand and if you want to write feel free to do so. Thanks.