((((rainbow)))))
It is so hard, isn't it? My T has told me that the goal is me not needing her anymore. It really hurts. I mean, I agree, and I want SO BADLY to be able to meet my own needs and not need T. And at the same time, it hurts to hear her say that. It is hard to not feel abandoned and rejected.

I think this is one of the ways that the therapeutic relationship is unusual, because no other relationship has the goal of "breaking up" at the end, you know? It's kind of backwards or upside down.

I know for me, I didn't need T at all at first, and a lot of time was spent getting me to trust her and letting her help me. Then I went to the other extreme of needing her, a lot. Maybe I'm still there, I don't know. But the goal now is to get me back to the point of NOT needing her, and being okay. In some ways it feels like I'm building myself up only to tear myself down again.