It's amazing how quickly you can realize that you are not alone. I know about the scars....I have a good 100+ of them...on my arms and stomach, even one on my breast. My arms were the first place, then my stomach, because my stomach is easier to hide. My parents haven't found out about my recent cuts, they don't know, and I don't want them to, i feel too ashamed to let them know...and then they will worry. I don't want them to worry, I am the only one allowed to do that! (j/k) I have been cutting since i was 12, i'm now 18....so 6 years....gosh, it's been that long...of course almost 2 of those years were without cutting...but being a cutter is much like being an alcholic, in that no matter how long you haven't done it, you are still a cutter...you are still recovering...and you can still fall back into the old habits...as I have learned all too quickly. Some good news though, I didn't cut last night, hopefully I can do the same tonight, yet again, my scissors are right there...calling my name. It is a fight, a constant fight. I have dreams of finally cutting my wrists and ending it all. But those are NIGHTMARES because I want to live. That is the only way that I know I'm not back where I was 2 years ago. Because, I want to live, I want to get out of college and become a teacher, I want a family, a life. I am just going through a hard time right now, which I will get through. I know I am strong. Stronger that I thought, because I have made it this far, and I REFUSE to let depression, and cutting, and society's view of things ruine all that I want, and all that I will have. It may kill me, but I'm going to fight, because this is my life, and I want to live it!

~Kati~