Ya know I think you are amazing for just understanding and coming to terms with the way you were treated as a young girl! I too wished I were a boy, I have 4 brothers!! And I longed for my father's love like crazy! I was a tomboy until I was about 13 years old! I am now 20 years old and am finally coming to terms with the way that I grew up and why I am the way I am, and that is the biggest part! Realizing it and coming to terms with it is the biggest part, so congratulations for taking the biggest step! You can do it! And you go get that deer!