I think until this happens, being reminded that this is the goal of therapy can feel scary. I think its a by product healing, perhaps you could tell T how it makes you feel when she reminds you that eventually you will be able to self soothe your own inner child? I know for me when I use to feel T as persecutory she'd remind me that I must also hold her as non persecutory because I went to session, and that use to feel shameful for me so I told her how it makes me feel and she said that she was trying to help me get in touch with that other part of me that wasn't experiencing her like that. I then said why don't I want to get in touch with that part then? and T said its not that I dont want too, its that when I am in that mind other parts of myself seem non existent and she said I could kick her if she said that again lol! but I guess like you the part that will be able to self soothe one day feels non existent at the moment and we can't get it until we get it, but having that conversation with T helped.