I've thought about going to see a psychologist before but always figured that I'd overcome everything on my own but after years it doesn't seem like I will so I've decided that I'm going to look into it and take the next step in trying to help myself. In regards to my gf I some to her about going to seek some professional help and it was so much harder than I imagined. I had so much trouble trying to get the words out and when I did I couldn't stop shaking, she did respond very positively to what I was saying and it did get a bit better but I shook the entire conversation. I felt very vulnerable talking about certain issues and couldn't go into details because I felt like I needed to run if I did. She is willing to support me in whatever I choose to do and loves me for who I am and said that after years of being together this is the most honest I had ever been and that she was proud of me. I wasn't sure how to respond to her afterwards I felt like I wasn't who she I thought I was anymore and I even told her that if she wanted to leave she was free to do so and I wouldn't think any less of her. She didn't and got upset for me thinking that she would want too. Its weird but I'm terrified of seeing her and in a way I don't want too, I feel cruel for putting her through anything but I want to be able to give her everything that she has ever given me. In regards of my daughter thankfully when I got divorced she was only a year old so she doesn't remember the bad times as I like to think of them and she's 6 now so for most of her life she knows that its always been her and me. I tell her that what happened between myself and her mother was just life and sometimes don't work out between people and that she's always my first priority in life and I would never let any harm come to her. Thanks for listening.