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The problem for me was that I wouldn't have ever been "ready" because this has always been a pattern for me in relationships. If someone in my life didn't respond to me exactly when I wanted them to, I felt abandoned and I accused them of ignoring me and trying to punish me. Same thing with my T, except I didn't see that until AFTER we went through all this. But he knew there was something beneath my rage and terror even though I was certain he was wrong. I had to take a huge leap of faith to trust him when he said I needed to ride it out and feel it all the way through instead of having the pain temporarily cut off by geting what I wanted from him. So instead of continuing to feed into it, he helped me recognize the pattern and he rode it out with me so that eventually I understood that the intense rage and desperate feelings of terror and abandonment were coming from the past and not from our relationship. That helped me realize that my reactions to other people were likely coming from the past also and not from their desire to ignore or punish me if they didn't meet my expectations for reassurance, which means that I am not nearly as likely to push people away with accusations now. I can step back and realize that my reactions aren't necessarily accurate reflections of their feelings or behavior toward me. I could never do that in the past, even though I've been in therapy off and on for many years with many different therapists. So in my experience there is much to be gained and learned from allowing my T to set those boundaries and limits even when they feel awful at the time.
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