One of the hardest things about this illness is having to remind ourselves that we don't have to assume that it IS us who is in the wrong. I had an unstable colleague once, and I did, if she blew up, make sure I was the one who made peace, but in the terms of "I'm sorry there was a misunderstanding" not "I'msorry I did something so stupid" unless i really had. That was actualy quite rare. Unfortunately I, like a lot of us, had been carefully taught by relatives and others that if there was a problem, than I or my illness lay at the root of it. It took a long time to figure out that in many cases this actually wasn't trye as often as I had bbeen led to believe. HUGGGGSSSSS!