I'm having trouble coping with a good chunk of issues regarding my brother. He abused me and made family's life hell in many ways. For some reason I went back and tried to start a new (healthy) relationship with him in college. It ended badly. I was so out of sorts I had to move home.

I don't want to hate him, but I do. I don't want to dream about him but I do. Multiple therpists have said he may be on the sociopath spectrum. I agree. I am coming to terms that we may never have the relationship i wanted(which im not sure why i want it). maybe i was just lonely....
that is something to grieve

another is forgiving him. i hold so much anger. therapy is slow. most times i dont have the energy or concentration to write about it. sorry if this seems a bit jumbled, im tired writing this.

i suffer from pstd and get flashbacks and nightmares about things that happened to me. its hard enough to get over traumatic events, without having to relive them over and over. There is much more to this story.

just wondering if anyone had anything similar. or knew someone on a sociopathic spectrum.