dear Cherry, one of my mother's sons is a psychopath, fortunately he did not actually live with us, as she abandoned him when i was born. he blamed me, as it turned out,, but i had a little rage disorder, and he learned not to mess with me,, he did so much damage to the younger children, and even the cousins, we all hated and they feared him. i will never forgive him, he is not capable of appreciating it, but i do forget him every chance i get. i hope you find a way to relinquish the hold he has on your emotions, and move on with life~ don't hesitate to grieve, it's very healthy,,, best wishes,, Gus