@Sunrise - no, I don't think my H would come to T, nor do I want the T to tell him stuff. I need to be able to tell him myself - do these things to show me love. When you do this, it triggers my innate defenses, sets off my fear alarm, even though I'm logically not afraid of you.

We just had an anniversary, and he bought me a beautiful necklace, something I'd suggested in a random email moment several months ago. He remembered, he got it engraved, too.