I think it depends on what you mean when you say she isn't helping you deal with the feelings. Do you mean she isn't willing to talk about it with you? Or do you mean her answers aren't making you feel any better when you talk about it with her? If she sidesteps the issue and doesn't really like to talk about it with you, then I would be concerned about her ability to help you deal with it. But if she is willing to talk about it as much as you need to, and the problem is that you still don't feel better, that's different. Maybe you just need to continue talking about it for quite awhile until you do start to feel better. Or maybe you don't think she's helping you because you don't like her answers -- for example if you still want her to return your love in ways that she can't, even though on some level you know that there are limits in this relationship, you might not feel she's helping you deal with it because you're not getting what you want from her. So I would try to clarify what you think you need from her in order to help you deal with the feelings, and talk to her about it as much as you need to.
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