Dear rainbow, the answers that are coming through to me are that, yes, you'll learn to give love to yourself, in the sense of self-soothing without having a meltdown if no one steps in to contain you, but--maybe more importantly, you're going to be able to ask others, in RL, to give you love, and it will be appropriate and will be available to you in ways that a t never, ever would be/could be. Hang in there. (see that? rainbow love!!!)