OK........this may start a firestorm, BUT you need a diagnosis. Without one, the med therapy cannot be clear, and the talk therapy cannot be clear either. A diagnosis is not the same as a label. It names a condition, not you. Once the condition(s) is identified, it can be more efficiently addressed with a clear focus. AND you can take that dx to any mental health professional and they will be better able to help you with less wasted time. If you are borderline, in my humble opinion, you need a psychologist, not a counselor.

One of the things a psychologist would do for you, I believe, is exactly what you ask for in your last line above: instruct you on getting your needs met in the real world and on learning to see and respect boundaries. In my experience, a social worker knows what systems you need in place, and is excellent at helping you gather them, but is not trained in the details of how, exactly, to access those systems...as in, yep, we need friends, but HOW do we make them and keep them????