I am sorry that you are in so much pain and that expressing it physically is such a strong temptation right now. Are there other ways you can express what is going on?
I too am aspi so words really don't work for me. I use art to express myself (mostly photography right now) and music to soothe.
are the feelings more difficult at night or is there something else that helps keep you from this durring the day?
Is any part of the SI connected to the aspi (like a stim, sensory seeking or obsession) or are the two seperate for you?

What kinds of gemstones do you collect? I have a collection of semi precious stone spheres that I use when I am hurting. I find a lot of comfort feeling them in my hands.

Please stay strong. Is there something that you can look foreward to? Do you work with a T? Some way to stay focused on moving forward? a goal you can set with a healthy reward?

Please keep posting and know that I am here (perhaps too much some days) if you need me. You havesomeone beside you as you continue to stay healthy!