hi david, welcome to pc.  lots of great support here. have you considered seeing a therapist to discuss your depression? it might yield good results.
so sorry you're having a very rough time. i can certainly relate to how you are feeling. depression makes one feel helpless and hopeless. when i get it, it's like a huge truck on my chest and i too feel i'm in a void of darkness. i take meds for it and it has lessened the severity and episodes. i do have emotional triggers that can set it in motion however. working in therapy on that.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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