Hi MsNiteOwl,
Harsh words to use to describe yourself with "utter failure and hopelessness and being unwanted and lonely and worthlessness." I am sorry that this is how you feel. I hope today is AMAZING! And I hope the week goes by as smoothly as possible for you - good vibes are coming to you!
I wish I could tell you how to end your pain completely! But when you are in situation where you are getting "hit with negatives" have a phrase ready to go that identifies something positive you have done that day or the night before. And it can be small, like going to bed early to get more hours of sleep or coming on PC and helping someone else by posting on their thread. You are NOT any of the words you used above. You are strong and smart!!!!!! You are in charge of your life. Sending more strength your way!

Cherrios!