Awww Quay thanks I think you really get it..I am mad at the system and am getting a raw deal...Only thing is its not his fault..Right now I think if I go it will JUST be to SEE and BE with him...and gawk at him ....I don't think I can work with soooo much time between visits...I end up feeling kind of like I don't know him and he don't know me anymore..I am working on a way to express that in better words but don't seem to be able to...I would rather go see him once in a while and gak at him than go cold turkey but as far as THERAPY I think that part is maybe over