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Rainbow, I have to say that based on my own experiences with former T's who met some of those child parts' needs, and my current T who does not meet those needs, I definitely agree with Poet. It felt SO good at the time when I had a T who met those needs but it reinforced the kind of manipulation that Poet describes ("the child part needs to hold the hand, needs to get a hug, and one gets stuck in the child part constantly, manipulating the T to respond to child part needs constantly.")
That's exactly what happened with me and I've seen that same process repeat itself over and over as I've been reading here and in other forums over the years. And if the therapy has to end prematurely for any reason, which sometimes happens because we have no control over certain events, it is even MORE painful to lose the "love" that the T had provided. I know that too because I went through it when a former T realized this was a mistake on her part, and she terminated because our needs clashed.
Still, it was extremely difficult to make the transition from a T who met those needs to a T who doesn't... probably one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, and I am 52 years old so I've had my share of life experiences. But it's been worth every ounce of pain because I now have a T who is committed to helping me explore, understand, and change my patterns of reenacting old behaviors that aren't healthy or useful anymore.
I feel bad about discouraging you from something that feels so good, and I don't want to say with certainty that this can't work for you. I'm just saying that I've been on both sides of the fence with different T's and my experiences echo what Poet said.
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