My radar for scary has improved a lot since that BF although does still have glitches.

I was afraid of men, triggered by most any man in my presence for a very long time. A friends husband started the desensitizing with me although it was not intentional. The need to be with his wife was so strong that I tollerated the anxiety when he was in the room then collapsed in her arms when he left. Later I met a priest who was just remarkable with me and got me to a healthy place with men. I have decided that I am worth being treated the way I was treated by that priest and that is now "the standard" by which I judge potential dates. I haven't dated in 5 yrs.

And yes, I am still very suseptable to falling back to the familiar pain rather than reaching for the unknown peace. A work in progress.